The Summer Of Love

The past two months since I found my son Mike have been an adventure in family like I never expected. Well, I couldn’t have anticipated how any of this might have unfolded – we all just dove in and are continually reveling in all the ways it has turned out to be beyond anything we could have imagined. They spent two and a half weeks with us on Bowen, and then we headed south to Portland to meet up with my sister Barb and brother Steve – Mike’s “new” aunt and uncle and cousins. And then we headed south to Eugene for another several days. We were all amazed that the visit was longer than any of us had ever braved with family, or anyone else, in our lives, and yet we never tired of each other. Mike’s wife Ann, a doula and childbirth educator, is a precious gem of a woman – full of light and life and energy and fire . I adore her. She’s become an invaluable force in helping Julia sort out her plans for University She and Mike have both attended the University of Oregon in Eugene (where Mike is currently getting his Masters in Architecture) and it was SO helpful in getting her focused on what she wants out of her education. 

Mikes adoptive Mom and I have had many long conversations and e-mails, and will meet in a few weeks – yet another relationship that is incomparable in my realm of experience, and SO special. I am in awe of her depth and capacity for love, and full on support of Mike and I connecting. To me it is a testament to her strength, security, and true unconditional love. I have heard many stories of the complications arising in this sort of situation as a result of the adoptive parents feeling threatened and angry, resulting in terrible guilt and confusion for the adoptee. While in fact, the urge for a person to know one’s biological roots is very natural and in no way eclipses the bond of the parents who have committed their lives to raising and nurturing their children. I am eternally grateful to Millie, not only for raising Mike to be such a wonderful man, but for her openness and grace in embracing all of this.  

Then there’s the rocket launch into grandparenthood… A role one is normally well prepared for by at least having an offspring of childbearing age and nine months gestation of said grandchild. Again, another utterly unique experience of becoming a grandmother overnight and getting to meet this remarkable little girl – full of enthusiasm, game for everything, delightfully articulate, smart, and FUNNY! Mike and Ann parent in a very similar way to how David and I parented Julia at that age, which again, contributed to a great ease in sharing a house and 3 weeks together.  

When we left them in Eugene to return home, I found I missed all their voices ringing through the house. Each with their own distinct and colourful character. A sweet missing…

So onward into the next chapter. Much exploration into universities and scholarships. Writing, recording, a few shows, a new gym membership (to strengthen my legs after a granny knee injury squatting down to talk to Abigail), and planning planning planning.

Happy trails out there…

Julia GraffComment