It's a BOY!!!

My dear friends,

I have decided I need to write about this most miraculous turn of events in my life, as it is such an uplifting and inspiring story. 

Some of you may know that I bore a child when I was barely 16 years old. (I was a poster child for the need for Sex Ed in the schools, let me tell you - thank god times have changed!). He was born in the unwed mothers' home I was sent to in San Francisco and, thanks to my mother's wise influence, gave him up for adoption. I have never been secretive about this part of my past, and even wrote a song about him in the late 70's called "Myterious Child". I have pictures his birth father and me holding him in "The Last Hour" we were allowed to hold him before I handed him off to the void. I tearfully signed the adoption papers a week later and a few weeks after that received a letter from the Children's Home Society briefly describing the family who adopted him as a lovely couple who enjoyed camping. (That's all I recall anyway). 

Needless to say, it has been a 39 year mystery - always wondering the fate of this boy for whose existence in this world I was responsible.  

I'm sure you can see what's coming...

A week ago, after a wonderful 3 day visit from my sister and her son and his wife, I impulsively Googled adoption connection sites and registered on the first one that came up. I of course knew his birth date, place, and names on the original birth certificate, but nothing else. Within 2 hours a woman in California - a "search angel" - wrote me with her own story of finding her birth family and offered to help me search (no fees or strings attached). I went with my instincts that she was indeed an "angel" and she dove in. Within a day I had all the contact information - his name, his parents' names, father's occupation, wife's name and occupation, addresses and phone numbers. (It's a bit disconcerting that so much information is available to all of us!). Needless to say, I was reeling. She offered to make "the call" for me, but I went with my instincts and composed an e-mail to his wife. She is a doula / midwife / childbirth educator, and though I know I was potentially putting her in an awkward position, (the big risk being, what if he hadn't been told he was adopted!) my instincts said to go for it.  
After I sent the letter, heart pounding, I noticed I'd misspelled her first name in the body of the letter. Feeling all was delicate, I sent another e-mail simply apologizing for misspelling her name. Within minutes she responded that this was the only e-mail she'd received, but was VERY intrigued by the subject "contact from Michael's birth mother", followed by one from Michael saying "I AM adopted..that IS the date and place I was born.. I'm speechless - please tell me this isn't a joke or a mistake!"

Barely able to breathe, I re-sent the letter with my phone number. Five minutes later the phone rang from an Oregon number. I'd found my son.  

It is beyond my wildest dreams - not just finding him, which is in itself miraculous, but knowing him - discovering what a wonderful, happy, smart, sweet, sensitive, loving person he is. And talking for hours on the phone to his mother as well - hearing such warmth, wisdom and openness in her voice. For all of us, we are blessed that we are all so excited to discover one another, in every sense. WOW. That's all we've been able to say for days. WOW. The brief stats are he is long and happily married, has a 3 1/2 year old daughter (YES, I'm a grandma!) is an architect and lives in Eugene. Tomorrow I will drive from the airport with my TWO kids in the car - words I have never before uttered.
Saturday he will come with Bill and Roy and I to the Canmore Folk Festival where UHF is playing.  

More soon. 

Julia GraffComment